today i officially embrace the concept of INDEPENDENCE. funny story: we ran out of toilet paper at our apt so i had to go out and buy toilet paper. this act of purchasing necessary essentials for life made me really appreciate my parents and being under their care. when life "used to be easy" and the only cares of my world was going to school, playing outside and going swimming you don't take into consideration things that your parents do for you. being dependent under your parents you you just live off of what THEY provide for YOU. so today as i was purchasing toilet paper i realized that this USED to be stuff my parents always bought at costco so we had like a LIFE time supply! so it humbled me to face the reality that i am no longer under the care of my parents. at times i become saddened that i didn't really have a choice to become independent at the time when i was ready but i was more so forced to stand for myself. yes, story of my life! but all the more i see it as a benefit to me because that much more i'm seeing that i can't depend on people anymore. just like my parents. i was once under their care, depended on them for finances, food, a roof over my head, affection and love. when i was stripped of all these things i still thought that i had my friends and relationships to depend on. but today, buying toilet paper, made the click in my head. i am no longer dependent on anyone but myself which makes me happily face. independence. this toilet paper story goes hand in hand with what i've been facing. not relying on anyone anymore but looking at the capability of my own strength to a certain extent until i can't be strong anymore. that's when God steps in and strengthens me when i can no longer be strong anymore. my faith has finally overpowered my knowledge. knowledge that always sustained me to maintain control of my life. i have finally closed another chapter of my life and opened up a new door of hope for what is to come. not going by what I know but where God leads me. the most amazing thing about this process is that.. i'm not scared. when i lived for the past 12+ years in fear which so crippled me. but now. i trust and hope in God and God alone, whole heartedly. no if's & but's about it. just an obedient heart that says, I trust you.
"Peace on the outside
comes from knowing God
on the inside"
-Live Productively
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