Adieu 2009

I'm always very thankful that things turn out the way that they do. In the moment when God changes situations & circumstances I may want life to be another way but in the end, God ALWAYS knows best. I'm at a VERY good place in my life and if life were to have happened the way that I wanted it to, I wouldn't be where I am today. Quite honestly, I wouldn't ask for it any other way. I'm perfectly happy with the way things are now OR maybe I've just come to appreciate life for what it is. Out with the old and in with the new!

Cheers my friends!

Happy New Year!

-Live Productively

"Happiness is...

understanding

and

accepting life

as it is

in this very moment

as

completely

perfect"

-Live Productively

a gradual process of growth

is taking place within me

So I am in an odd transition of my life where I'm being stripped of my old self and preparing for my new self that I will be sporting, all in due timing. I've never been in a place in my life where I knew that this was exactly where I was supposed to be-like now. I'm quite uncertain of where I'm headed but I have faith that I'm going in the right direction. I'm facing fears that I wasn't able to face in the past and I'm not afraid. I'm finally making my move with my education for upward social mobility with my career- for myself but I am not impatient or hurried as I normally would feel. I'm certainly not 'normal' and it's okay. At times I feel isolated-like i'm living in my own bubble but i don't feel lonely, don't get me wrong because I am loved but this isolation period is more so alone time. I like it. And today I embrace all my uncertainties, confusions and this alone time because ultimately this time is where my strength will arise.

This coming 2010, I will be turning a year where I always looked forward to reaching because as a child I knew that at this age I would reach womanhood. It's an age where I no longer live a confused, rebellious life but bloom into a woman who has lived life and wisdom overflows, my logical thinking capacity outweighs my emotions and I'm able to find joy in the midst of chaotic times. I'm a lot more patient and learning that in due time circumstances shall pass and it's all a part of growing up. At this age I'm not any where near birthing a child in my womb but just as a woman in her early pregnancy can feel her child being seasoned within her belly, I too can feel/sense that God is preparing something within me. This reminds me of when my brother, Daniel Dabin, was in his mother's womb. Everyday I would look at her belly and anticipate the day that I would see this being in her womb in full human form. Meeting Dabin for the first time brought an unexplainable joy that radiated from within and I've come across this same kind of anticipation that's filled with the same excitement at what is to come.

"Spiritual growth consists most in the growth of the root,

which is out of sight"

Matthew Henry

-Live Productively

Seeing the Unseen

"We look not at the things which are seen,

but at the things which are unseen;

for the things which are seen are temporal,

but the things which are not seen are eternal"

-2 Corinthians 4:18

-Live Productively

Humans learn by Trial & Error

"The question is not whether you will or will not make mistakes - you will.

The question is do you want to learn and grow,

or do you want to shrink back and be stuck?"

You've got to live life, not just think about it.

-Live Productively

"Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal"

-Thomas Moore

-Live Productively

Healing Waters

"Don't ever discount the wonder of your tears.

They can be healing waters and a stream of joy.

Sometimes they are the best words the heart can speak."

-The Shack (p230)

-Live Productively

if anything matters

then everything matters

"Because you are important, everything you do is important. Every time you forgive, the universe changes; every time you reach out and touch a heart or a life, the world changes; with every kindness and service, seen or unseen, HIS purposes are accomplished and nothing will ever be the same again"

-The Shack (p237)

-Live Productively

"Faith never knows where it is being led,

but it knows and LOVES the One who is leading"

-Oswald Chambers

-Live Productively

in the sight of God

this is how I am figured...

This is the perfect picture to describe the way I look in the sight of God. When the Holy Spirit decides to move, He's like the wind that blows and I am just going with His leading and Movement. It's an amazing indescribable, unexplainable, wholesome kind of joy that comes with this kind of freedom. And as the days progress, it only gets stronger. Til the day I meet Him face to face.

"Where the Spirit of the Lord is,

there is freedom"

-Live Productively

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life"

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

-Live Productively

THE SHACK

"In a world where religion seems to grow increasingly irrelevant THE SHACK wrestles with the timeless question: Where is God in a world so filled with unspeakable pain? The answers Mack gets will astound you and perhaps transform you as much as it did him. You'll want everyone you know to read this book!"

A New journey. Embarked.

-Live Productively

officially independent but dependent on God

today i officially embrace the concept of INDEPENDENCE. funny story: we ran out of toilet paper at our apt so i had to go out and buy toilet paper. this act of purchasing necessary essentials for life made me really appreciate my parents and being under their care. when life "used to be easy" and the only cares of my world was going to school, playing outside and going swimming you don't take into consideration things that your parents do for you. being dependent under your parents you you just live off of what THEY provide for YOU. so today as i was purchasing toilet paper i realized that this USED to be stuff my parents always bought at costco so we had like a LIFE time supply! so it humbled me to face the reality that i am no longer under the care of my parents. at times i become saddened that i didn't really have a choice to become independent at the time when i was ready but i was more so forced to stand for myself. yes, story of my life! but all the more i see it as a benefit to me because that much more i'm seeing that i can't depend on people anymore. just like my parents. i was once under their care, depended on them for finances, food, a roof over my head, affection and love. when i was stripped of all these things i still thought that i had my friends and relationships to depend on. but today, buying toilet paper, made the click in my head. i am no longer dependent on anyone but myself which makes me happily face. independence. this toilet paper story goes hand in hand with what i've been facing. not relying on anyone anymore but looking at the capability of my own strength to a certain extent until i can't be strong anymore. that's when God steps in and strengthens me when i can no longer be strong anymore. my faith has finally overpowered my knowledge. knowledge that always sustained me to maintain control of my life. i have finally closed another chapter of my life and opened up a new door of hope for what is to come. not going by what I know but where God leads me. the most amazing thing about this process is that.. i'm not scared. when i lived for the past 12+ years in fear which so crippled me. but now. i trust and hope in God and God alone, whole heartedly. no if's & but's about it. just an obedient heart that says, I trust you.

"Peace on the outside

comes from knowing God

on the inside"

-Live Productively

What angers you in another person

is an unhealed aspect of yourself.

-Live Productively

Thank You

A song that expresses my prayer to My Lord..

Just a little while longer I wanna pray
Can't get You off my mind so I came to say
Thank You Lord, just for loving me, alright
Many times I do forget
Every need that You have met
Oh thank You Lord, I know You're showing me
You are there when I am down and out
You're holding me, Your love is so amazing
Oh it changed me

Here I am with all I have
Raise my hands to worship You
I wanna say thank you, oh thank you
For everything, for who You are
You cover me, You touch my heart
I wanna say thank you

I could have died in my sin but You saved me
Didn't have any hope at all
You gave me peace divine, strength to carry on
I should have been the one to pay
But instead You took my place
Amazing grace, it's more than just a song
Even though I don't deserve Your love for me
You look beyond my fault and You showed me mercy

I wanna say thank you for the sun
I wanna say thank you for the rain
Everything You do is beautiful
I'm so grateful for Your love

-The Katinas

-Live Productively

Trusting God to my fullest extent

"Be still, and know

that [HE] is God"

-Psalm 46:10

...and I am not...

I can see that God is continually leading me into a time where I am to "Be Still" and let God be God my Creator while I remain His Creation. I have been leading my life all too long, as with the many of us are still doing and will keep on doing, unless you literally have to just be still and know that He is God.. Sometimes this consists of letting life happen before me. I'm coming to fully fathom the meaning of letting go of life. It calls for a lot of obedience but most importantly, FAITH. "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" (Heb11:1). If I were to know everything that is going to happen then that would be mere Knowledge and not Faith because Faith is believing and a VERY powerful thing, as a friend once told me.

God is slowly starting to reveal to me a lot about myself that I need to work on as well as a lot of things that I never fully understood as a child, until now as I seek for more solid foods, "But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil" (Heb5:14). I really have nothing to worry about because "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are [HIS] ways higher than [MY] ways and {HIS} thoughts than [MY] thoughts" (Isaiah55:8)

"Our Pride must be among the first things we surrender if we are to live a cross centered life."

-C.J. Mahaney

He is God... I am Not...

-Live Productively

Simply Speaking

"Every painful event contains in itself a seed of growth and liberation"

-Anthony De Mello

-Live Productively