Challenges

"Turn your challenges into changes

And changes into actions"

In everyday life there are many challenges one must face whether it's at work/ school/ family/ friends/ co-workers.. etc.. once a challenge is met it's up to that individual to either let it defeat you or to make it a change- take a CHANCE and then reciprocate that into actions. Then one's life will change. I believe when someone does things that makes them happy everyone else's life becomes MERRY, happy and good! When one starts dealing with things that hurts an individual then others do get hurt as well. It's like a frequency we give out. One negative thought could rot away a colony! Therefore "thoughts become things".. the more positive energy one gives off sparks a plethora of positive frequency to the world.. !! Change the world into a more enjoyable positive place.. one positive thought at a time..

LG.. Life's Good.. "if you think it's good.."

-live productively

The Cutting Edge

"I hurt so much
I bleed."

Pain is a reminder that they are alive when they feel dead inside.
"It's a way of feeling something in the presence of nothing."

happy. not the perfume.

i have a lot of needs. the main need in my life right now is happiness. i need to be happy. if i'm happy i realized the world is happy around me. when i'm happy i'm able to uplift other people. i can support. i can advise. i can do many things when i'm happy. i realized i cannot function when i am built up with emotions. emotions are not my friends. we just don't mingle well together. we're just not meant to be. but happiness. when will i ever meet you? when will you ever find me? you come and go like my parents did. you stay for a little while then you leave me abandoned to fend for myself like my mom left me. i just wana be. i want to be happy. i want happiness to be me. i want us to be intertwined together like twizzlers. i really need you to find me now. god, help me i need you.

-hardly living productively...

Trials, Tribulations, Thorns...

Sometimes I feel as if my life would be so much better if I died right now. But then again if I died today i wouldn't have a life to live any more. Therefore i must be happy for my life as of now. Sometimes Death sounds lovely. It's more lovelier to not handle certain situations because it's the easy way out. Most of the time people like me want the easy way out. It's all I know. If someone isn't being good to you, just leave. If the relationship is not working, just break up. It's hard as F@#% to stick with another human being when all your life all you've seen is your parents just divorce thru papers, not working out their love for each other just because they aren't the person that you thought they were in the first place. I blame what I saw growing up on my current relationship right now. I am in turmoil with my emotions. They just float around like clouds in the sky. A plethora of anger aggrevates my soul and haunts me to sleep. I know I should find solutions to my anger issues that I try to hide away in the dark little crevaces that no one can see or touch but when someone gets too close somehow that anger that was so hidden starts to creep up and haunt me. It comes up on me like a dark shadow that comes upon the sky when the clouds start turning gloomy. As dark as all this may sound my soul yearns for one thing. my heart yearns for one thing. my mind and body yearns for one thing. PEACE. Sometimes our body acts out with this anger and the most common thing to do is hurt.. not others but thy self. Sometimes both. Sometimes none at all. sometimes our bodies just become a furnace of anger it's like fire that rages and burns a house down. That is exactly what my anger does to me sometimes. It burns my whole insides sometimes i feel like my anger is eating away at my intestines and my organs. Sometimes i feel like everything that comes out of my mouth is fire that anyone standing close enough could and most likely will get burned. I'm working on this as this was the main topic of yesterdays Sermon. If we don't deal with the guilt and shame inside the likely result will be anger. I don't know how to go past step 1. It's as if my life has become a revolving cycle of emotions that never fade away. Is there ever going to be happiness that meets me during the time that I am alive? Will I ever find security? Will I ever be stable enough to handle men and what they have to bring into my life? All these questions that float around inside my mind that control my emotions. I am so

I NEED GOD....

Prayer

It seems as if praying to God comes up immediately when someone's sick, in dire need, death, fear, for only the bad things that happen in life...

What about when things are going well? You're entirely joyfully happy. Things can't get any better than this type of mode.. does prayers get lifted up then, too??

It's a random thought I had today especially as Christ Resurrection is coming up.. I'm trying to stay pure in thought. Close to the Lord and being thankful for the little things in life. Like my brothers Easter egg scavenger hunt scheduled for this morning! Everything is a blessing from above. Take it as it comes. Handle life as it goes. Let things slide on by so that there is room for new happenings to come on thru. And.. Be Thankful..

Pray.. it makes.. a difference...


-live productively

Make A Difference

Once a man was walking along a beach. The sun was shining and it was a beautiful day. Off in the distance he could see a person going back and forth between the surf's edge and and the beach. Back and forth this person went. As the man approached he could see that there were hundreds of starfish stranded on the sand as the result of the natural action of the tide.

The man was stuck by the the apparent futility of the task. There were far too many starfish. Many of them were sure to perish. As he approached the person continued the task of picking up starfish one by one and throwing them into the surf.

As he came up to the person he said, "You must be crazy. There are thousands of miles of beach covered with starfish. You can't possibly make a difference." The person looked at the man. He then stooped down and pick up one more starfish and threw it back into the ocean. He turned back to the man and said, "It sure made a difference to that one!"

everyone makes a difference in someone's life. whether you know it or not.

*Thanks Emily for the inspiration* ;)

-live productively

A Thorn in the Flesh

"To keep me from becoming conceited (elated) because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
-2 Corinthians 12:7-10

Today marked quite an extraordinary closure to my life. In the sense that I felt like God was speaking to me directly thru this amazing sermon i heard at church today. It's Easter next Sunday. The day of Christ resurrection. I have given up some things that i wanted to fast for higher purposes. To maintain a stable need for the Lord in my life. Todays sermon was right on que to the things and events that are taking place. A THORN IN THE FLESH was my main highlight that I've gotten. These days i've been seeing that not only I but those around me are having the most difficult times in their lives. I always wondered WHY we go thru these times of trials, hardships, difficulties.. maybe for endurance to get us stronger? as they say "no pain no gain" but today it became a reality that WHEN WE ARE WEAK that is when we become desperate, we become IN NEED, we become desperate .. for God..

I was deathly sick this past weekend. I realized in these modes of desperation is when I seek the Lord. "OH GOD HELP ME IM SOO SICK! HEAL ME" when prior to this little prayer i hardly even give up token prayers. I realized when I got better and became healed the day after that I would become puffed up with Pride and say "I am better now, I'm healed" when thru that prayer possibly God is the one that healed me. When we become prideful that is when we seize to seek God. Todays sermon clarified that sometimes God allows us to experience pain, turmoil, difficulties, EXTREME hardships JUST so that we'd SEEK him out thru those times. We would come to a point where we could come back to him. It's like a parent seeing their kids go thru trials with school or friends. Sometimes we only learn from experience. In the same sense, God allows us to wander off for a little bit so we'd learn a lesson and come back to Him for help.

He'd allow us to walk away and get hurt so that we wouldn't walk too far and be able to turn back to Him. When God does remove this thorn in our lives we should always maintain humility and become humbled by the fact that God helped us endure this trial.

"When I become prideful, I no longer feel the need for God. It leads to a sense of self-sufficiency, self-importance, and self-centered confidence. So, God takes measures to prevent this"

"God uses thorns to crush my pride; they keep me from exalting myself"

"I experience God's power, not by the absense of thorns, but by enduring through thorns"

So in light of this spiritual journey.. coming Easter next Sunday, i blog about this. To maintain and hold stable to the enduring of the trials and difficulties. For this does not last forever. Everything will get better in time, during this time stay strong.. hold fast.. live productively...