Perseverance

Soon after making a decision to follow Christ, a young Nigerian named Daniel returned to his Muslim village. He was excited about his new faith. . . the people of his village were not. Furious at him, the women of the village beat him and left him for dead.

When he regained consciousness the following day, he decided he must not have been clear in explaining his new faith. So he went back to the village and witnessed again. The women beat him and left him for dead again. This time he remained unconscious for two days.

When he awoke, he again assumed he hadn't expressed himself well. So he returned a third time. This time the village women broke into tears at his perseverance, and eventually the good news of Christ gained a foothold in that place.

If you're weary in sharing the good news of Jesus with friends, family, or your kids—take heart. And remember, we share Christ by our actions and how we conduct our lives—as much as we do with our words.

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12

-Live Productively

Hannah Whitall Smith writes:

"This blessed life must not be looked upon in any sense as an attainment but as an obtainment. We cannot earn it; we cannot climb up to it; we cannot win it; we can do nothing but ask for it and receive it. It is the gift of God in Christ Jesus. And where a thing is a gift, the only course left for the receiver is to take it and thank the giver."

-Live Productively

"I don't wonder anymore what I'll tell God when I go to heaven when we sit in the chairs under the tree, outside the city........I'll tell these things to God, and he'll laugh, I think and he'll remind me of the parts I forgot, the parts that were his favorite. We'll sit and remember my story together, and then he'll stand and put his arms around me and say, "well done," and that he liked my story. And my soul won't be thirsty anymore. Finally he'll turn and we'll walk toward the city, a city he will have spoken into existence a city built in a place where once there'd been nothing. "

-Donald Miller (A Million Miles in a Thousand Years)

Follow Me!

Jesus Reinstates Peter (John 21:15-23)

¹⁵ When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”

“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

¹⁶ Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

¹⁷ The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. ¹⁸ Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” ¹⁹ Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him,“Follow me!”

²⁰ Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, “Lord, who is going to betray you?”) ²¹ When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?”

²² Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” ²³ Because of this, the rumor spread among the believers that this disciple would not die. But Jesus did not say that he would not die; he only said, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?”

I remember a sermon where a pastor once mentioned how he gets the most attacked the moments after he preaches the word of God. So for him that entailed whatever days he was speaking from the pulpit. Being a bible study teacher I'm seeing the cost that comes with being entrusted with God's flock, teaching them the ways of the Lord, how to live in the righteousness of God and to turn away from the wicked things of the world, and to proclaim the victory the cross has set out for us. The Lord has been so gracious in overwhelming my heart with Love for Him that I just want to burst sometimes! I am loving the ministry He has graciously entrusted to me and proclaiming the gospel truth on to the lives of these younger sisters who are completely blinded to the things of God and walking straightly by sight, not faith.

Every Sunday before I start leading any bible study or start spitting out any words of truth I always open up with a word of prayer and ask the Lord to lead the study. Whatever it is He wants to teach us and speak to us, I invite the Holy Spirit to lead He speaks to the hearts of His beloveds. Well today we had a special time of bible study as the Lord led us to have an opportunity for these girls to really experience the fullness of the gospel being preached through their lives. I asked some of the girls if they knew what it meant to "be saved"? To live with the holy spirit in their hearts and having Jesus be Lord of their lives? We had the opportunity to lead them into a time of ushering in God's presence in their lives, a good handful of them raised their hands and the gospel was made alive. GOD IS MOVING and I'm just in for the ride!

During worship time for our EM service, since it flows right after bible study teaching and into the worship setting I had a good amount of time just PRAISING THE LORD for His faithfulness and goodness! I started thinking ahead of what I should prepare for these girls who have a new relationship with the Lord, how I should get a hold of them, what i should do, yadda yadda yadda. But gently the Lord stopped me in my tracks and said,

"You say what I want you to say, when I want you to say it and how I want it to be said, just FOLLOW ME" (note: the Lord gave me this verse prior to coming into teaching by asking me the same thing He asked Peter. This time around he speaks this same thing but emphasizes to remind me that this bible study class is HIS not mine, HIS words not mine, HIS time not mine)

and from that moment forward I repented quickly of my own efforts of trying to move ahead of God, took a step back and focused my eyes on Him. This moment reminded me of when Jesus appeared to his disciples AFTER He rose from the dead and appeared to Peter AFTER Peter had betrayed Jesus before He died on the cross, man, talk about LOVE! Jesus asked Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" (vs15, 16, 17) He asked Peter 3x's and 3x's Peter answers, "Yes, Lord you know that I love you." (vs15, 16, 17) Jesus immediately responds back to Peter in 3 different ways:

1. Feed my lambs (vs 15)
2. Take care of my sheep (vs16)
3. Feed my sheep (vs17)

I believe that Jesus was showing Peter that he already foreknew Peter's denial and forgave Him long before and came to clarify the way Peter will truly follow Jesus now. As the Lord told Peter, the Lord told me,

"Then he said to [me], Follow me!" (vs19)

-Live Productively

Above all Else

I can sing this song all day, everyday, any day, and again today! Blessed be the name of the Lord!

Jesus my passion in life is to know You
May all other goals bow down to
This journey of loving You more

Jesus You've showered Your goodness on me
Given Your gifts so freely
But there's one thing I'm longing for

Hear my heart's cry
And my prayer for this life

Above all else
Above all else
Above all else
Give me Yourself

-Live Productively

press into Him

"When emotions run dry, and there is no holy cry

I will run blindly, I'll press into you.."

-Live Productively

One with Him as He was One with Him

Jesus the Way to the Father

⁵ Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”

⁶ Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. ⁷ If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”

⁸ Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.”

⁹ Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? ¹⁰ Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. ¹¹ Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves. ¹²Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. ¹³ And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. ¹⁴You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

ahh, man! How frustrating Jesus must have felt when his own disciples, whom he trained and spent a good amount of his ministry time with, had doubts! I know I would have been but yet, JESUS IS LORD! and the peace He had in his heart was because of the Father living IN Him! Even after all that they saw, all that they heard Jesus speak and all that they experienced while walking with Jesus, and STILL yet they come asking, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?" and I love that Jesus just straight up answers him plainly by saying, "I AM THE WAY AND THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE. NO ONE CAN COME TO THE FATHER EXCEPT THROUGH ME. IF YOU REALLY KNEW ME, YOU WOULD KNOW MY FATHER AS WELL. FROM NOW ON, YOU DO KNOW HIM AND HAVE SEEN HIM." (vs 6,7) and here comes Philip not having blatantly hearing everything that Jesus had JUST spoken by asking, "Lord, show us the Father and that will be ENOUGH for us." (vs8) Like, hello! Jesus just said "YOU HAVE SEEN HIM" haha! and how many of us are just like him, we see His miracles in our daily lives. Miracles don't have to be big and grand, they are in the small things as well; the miracle of a person turning from their sinful way and turning to the word, or a prideful person humbling themselves by apologizing for their wrongful actions, or even a hurting person to be embraced by the Love of God. It doesn't have to be crazy healings, speaking in tongues, casting out demons kind of miracles but God moves, even in the little things! but man, the way Jesus answers so gently as he always does, to us who lack in our Faith in Him by always doubting, always questioning His ways, always dusting off His words by unbelief, YET He is still faithful in saying to His disciples and to us: "Don't you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you are not just my own. Rather, it is the Father, living IN me, who is doing his work. Believe in me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves." (vs10,11)

"Holy Father,
protect them by the power of your name-
the name you gave me-
so that they may be one
as we are one." (John 17:11)

-Live Productively

Above the Clouds

"The heavens declare the glory of God;

the skies proclaim the work of his hands"

Psalm 19:1

-Live Productively

It's no longer about me

Jesus Forgives and Heals a Paralyzed Man

¹ A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. ²They gathered in such large numbers that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. ³ Some men came, bringing to him a paralyzed man, carried by four of them. ⁴Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus by digging through it and then lowered the mat the man was lying on. ⁵ When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralyzed man, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”

⁶ Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves, ⁷ “Why does this fellow talk like that? He’s blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?”

⁸ Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts, and he said to them, “Why are you thinking these things? ⁹ Which is easier: to say to this paralyzed man, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up, take your mat and walk’? ¹⁰ But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.” So he said to the man, ¹¹ “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” ¹² He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, “We have never seen anything like this!"

-Mark 2:1-12

This was a real great weekend. As much as I want to say that I enjoyed going up to the EM retreat with my church, I'm more reluctantly glad to say that I'm more happier to be back facing the difficulties of life and the reality of God's victory that comes with those challenging times! Mighty exciting stuff, I must say. So with this verse that I just shared above, I've come to have LIFE and LIFE to it's fullest (John 10:10) spoken into me tonight by a dear sister of mine that the Lord has divinely appointed into my life at the most perfect time, His time. =) So with this verse that she spoke over me saying that this paralytic man has much to do with my season of life as of yet. What's amazing to me about this scenario is:

1. paralytic man didn't come on his own will but his friends brought him
2. Jesus says in verse 5 that the paralytics mans SINS are forgiven,
3. Jesus gives an ultimatum in vs 9
4. once Jesus commanded him to be healed, he immediately got up & went home

Let me start by saying this. Coming back to church after retreat everyone will start off their greetings and convos by asking, "HOW WAS RETREAT?!" Every time someone asked me that today I answered, "hmm.. it was interesting." I honestly didn't know how else to answer because I didn't want to fake a fascade and say it was GREAT or just plain GOOD or OK. Going up I already had a steadfast heart that didn't want to budge in the aspect of emotions. Emotionally getting turned on and leaving the junk of my problems behind on the mountain and coming back down. Which in all honestly is almost exactly what happened. haha. Well in a sense, this retreat was so much more than me being blessed, it was more of a real great time of being HEALED. Healing took place not just within my own heart and life but within the lives of the members of this body that He is restoring BACK TO HIMSELF! It's such a fruitful time for our ministry with all the great movements He's been leading us in, into the promised land flowing with milk & honey, I'm thoroughly blessed just being a part, member of this unit (1 Cor 12:12)! OK so with this healing background mentioned, I want to go straight into this passage mentioned above.

God has been faithful and just in using many sisters & brothers in my life to help me on this track of inner healing, going back to areas of my life that I once felt very crippled and paralyzed from functioning in daily society but just as this paralytic was lying on a mat, his friends were the ones that went above and beyond to bring this friend of theirs to this Jesus that came into town believing that He would heal this friend. Like in all honesty, HOW AMAZING IS THAT?!!! to have friends who would believe on your behalf? ah, just amazing! Not really sure on the legit context of this passage but I bet Jesus was super famous coming into this town, I mean he was at this house that was packed from the inside that people must have been flooding outside the doors, just wanting to get a peek, a word of Jesus. Almost like the beginning of the semester of college classes. haha. There just was not enough room! So for the friends to think of such a genius idea, NOT giving up, "they made an opening on the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. When Jesus saw THEIR faith, he said to the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven." (vs.4,5) And I bet that was all that had to be done, friends brought crippled friend believing that He'd be healed by Jesus, Jesus spoke the word and that was it. But then it goes on to say in the following verses that, "Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves, “Why does this fellow talk like that? He’s blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?” (vs 6,7) Let me just tell you this now unless you haven't caught on yourself BUT for reals, Jesus is NOT dumb. "He KNEW in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts" (notice not minds, vs8) and he answers by giving them an ultimatum: "Which is easier: to say to the paralytic, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Get up, take your mat and walk?'" (vs9) But Jesus knew their faith and saw their hearts and responds, as he always does in a gentle manner, "But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins . . ." He said to the paralytic, "I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home." (vs 10,11) I love that he just says, go home. haha I thought that was pretty funny but I digress. Once Jesus commanded this paralytic to actually do something about Him healing this man, this man, "got up, took his mat and walked out in FULL VIEW of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying 'We have never seen anything like this!'" (vs 11,12)

So how does this tie in with me, retreat, inner healing and the such? Well, like I mentioned before, I've been abundantly graced with such loving brothers and sisters who care not just for my well being but for my relationship with God to flourish like He's always planned for it. The 4 men carrying paralytic represents my friends (brothers and sisters) and I am the paralytic. I was paralyzed by my past sins, regrets, guilts, bitterness and pains + hurts but once Jesus spoke forgiveness over me of those sins, I was already released and healed by His grace, His mercy, HIS BLOOD! But some people these days have been questioning this forgiveness and questioning if healing has really been taken place in and through my life and I believe that God wants to glorify Himself through me by showing vs 10 to come alive. "But that THEY may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgiven sins.." He's saying to me (the paralytic), "I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home." So I'm getting up from my crippled-ness and paralysis of living in regrets, guilts, shames, condemnations, hurts, bitterness and the pains that once lingered through my blood and veins and allowing Jesus' blood to bring His cleansing touch over EVERY SINGLE AREA of my past, present and future and proclaiming that I am ALL HIS and that the enemy has got NO RIGHT over any areas of my past, present and future! IN JESUS NAME! And now going past God's spoken forgiveness upon my life but taking up my mat and walking in the presence of my peers, church congregation, mentees, bible study students, walking in full view for them to see God's glory. How he healed me, how he's saved me, how he's graced me with His life. And for that I can't utter anything else but HOLY! HOLY! HOLY! From here on out, I only pray that my life will, "amaze everyone and they will praise God, saying, 'We have never seen anything like this!'"

Jesus, BE GLORIFIED! I am Yours, Only Yours.

-Live Productively

Something Cool the Lord Revealed Today

My job entails me managing the front desk of a Neurologist office. I make appointments, sign people in, get a copy of their insurance, have them fill out an information form and make them a chart. Then I send that chart into my Dr's room and have them wait on Him until He is ready.

In the same realm, I feel like I do what the Holy Spirit does in the spiritual realm. Like, the Holy Spirit is the one who welcomes me, has me sign in my info by giving my life, making sure I'm covered by the blood of Jesus (like insurance) so that I can come before God, get healed by Him, consult with Him and talk to him face to face, all the while waiting on Him!

Something I had my eyes opened to this day as I was working.. kinda cool, huh?

-Live Productively

May My Life Reflect The Beauty Of My Lord

"If you could have heaven, with no sickness, and with all the friends you ever had on earth, and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, and no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with heaven, if Christ was not there?"
— John Piper

Oh man, hearing this quote blew me away! I mean, whenever I imagine heaven, I just can't seem to fathom heaven without God, heaven without Jesus, heaven without worshiping God? That's just NOT heaven to me. It's not something I'd want for eternity. I could have all the things this world can offer me but to not have Jesus, everything is so meaningless and such vanity as it speaks of in Ecclesiastes.

I want my life to reflect an image of some one who is completely in Love with Jesus. Not in love with the things He gives, His blessings or the way He moves but to be completely and wholly in love with Jesus, God himself! I want to leave a legacy where when my spirit leaves my earthly tent, people can look back on the life that I lived here and say, "Esther really LOVED Jesus." Just as Jesus lived here on this earth for 33 years of His life, being IN the Father and the Father IN Him, a complete communion with God 24/7. In like, I want my life to reflect a love relationship with Jesus that no one can deny.

Turn up the heat, no more luke-warm Christians!

But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life,

and only a few find it.

-Matthew 7:14

-Live Productively

My First and Only Love

One thing that I absolutely love and enjoy doing is spending hours unending reading about the One I love. But reading about Him, hearing about Him just is not enough for me. I want to know Him personally, see Him, hear Him and converse with Him. It's like every time I read a book that's about God it's like talking to someone about the One I love. Like a significant other, I'd spend hours with my girl friends just chit chatting about all the greatness of Him, how much I love Him and how much I appreciate Him being in my life. It's the same aspect with God. Reading about Him and listening to sermons about Him, I just love everything about God. He is my world and I absolutely LOVE IT! I love losing myself for His sake, only wanting to talk about Him, not just what He gives or does for me but talking ABOUT WHO He is, what He's like and how much His love and grace transforms life. I mean, He IS LIFE!

Tonight I spent a good amount of time at the Borders here in Torrance reading 'Crazy Love' by Francis Chan. It's looking like every where I go, every thing I read or hear is by the leading of the Spirit. It was no co-incidence that I picked up this book but I know God wanted to lavish MORE of His love on me by me reading this book. I LOVED the absolute reality of it all starting from how radical it is, how real it is and how much He perfumes the love of Christ through each word scripted on the pages. I am absolutely more in Love with my Savior and there is no other place I'd rather be than here in His arms!

-Live Productively

Economy of Mercy

A Blind Beggar Receives His Sight

³⁵ As Jesus approached Jericho, a blind man was sitting by the roadside begging. ³⁶ When he heard the crowd going by, he asked what was happening. ³⁷ They told him, “Jesus of Nazareth is passing by.”

³⁸ He called out, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

³⁹ Those who led the way rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”

⁴⁰ Jesus stopped and ordered the man to be brought to him. When he came near, Jesus asked him, ⁴¹ “What do you want me to do for you?”

“Lord, I want to see,” he replied.

⁴² Jesus said to him, “Receive your sight; your faith has healed you.” ⁴³ Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus, praising God. When all the people saw it, they also praised God.

This is the story of how I came to be.. I was this blind man sitting by the roadside begging, begging to be seen, appreciated, loved, valued, wanted, longed, desired, accepted... I find it extraordinary how he had to ask what was happening because he couldn't see with his own eyes. He must have heard the crowd going crazy and wondered what all the fuss was about? When they told him that "Jesus of Nazareth is passing by" (vs 37) he called out to Jesus to "have mercy on him"... but the people rebuked him and told him to be quiet? like really? he called out to Jesus and the people told him to HUSH! wth! but he could have cared less.. I love that about this blind man, he called out even louder! It says he, "shouted all the more, 'Son of David, HAVE MERCY ON ME!'" (vs39) that is just amazing because Jesus heard, he stopped and ordered his men to bring this man to him. I love that Jesus had asked the blind man what he wanted him to do for him? Like, Jesus, the man is blind! haha. I love that about Jesus, how he always asks us what we want him to do for us. Obviously the blind man wanted to see like he replies in that same verse when Jesus asks him. Amazing how Jesus always refers back to our faith, the blind man's FAITH healed him just as my FAITH had healed me and opened my eyes to see Jesus. IMMEDIATELY Jesus healed him, restored his sight and this man, "followed Jesus, praising God" (vs43) but what gets me is the last verse, "When all the people saw it, they also praised God." I know for a fact that my life's transformation is because of what Jesus had done for me. He looked at me, he healed me, he restored my sight and he brought me life because He IS LIFE! And what I know for a fact is that when people see the message of the gospel being alive within my life I know that they, too, praise God at the reality of Jesus' redemption being laid out before them through the testimony of how I came to be. AMAZING! truly, amazed.

-Live Productively