Overflowing with His Love

This year the Holidays feel so different. In the years past, I've just come to dread when Halloween would roll around because after that comes Thanksgiving, Christmas & the New Year. Because of my family always being dysfunctional, remaining cluttered with brokenness and separation, it was always a hard time for me to maintain a heart of gratitude in the midst of it all. But regardless, I always tried to make the most of what the Lord had given me: good health, a roof over my head, another year to journey and most importantly, HIS LOVE. Although I've moved past these emotions of dreading the holidays, I've come to own the heart He gave, His love for me. The more I journey towards Him, within me, the more I see that I've got so much to be thankful for! Yeah, the Lord never answered my prayer for a "normal" family in the way that I wanted Him to answer me but nevertheless, he answered my prayer! (in the form of the family that I do have, a great bible study class filled with love from 13 beautiful girls, and the body of Christ that He is fashioning together so beautifully) So, I can't complain this holiday for "not having" this or "not having" that because I've got so much more than I've asked for, I've got Jesus! And because I have Him, I can have the greatest gift of all- HIS LOVE!

May His love that he's given through His Son lead you to an abundance of LOVE to give to those who don't know Jesus, those who are hurting and in need, and to those who have no one to spend Christmas with. May you bring the true meaning of Christmas, to them!

-Live Productively

The Greatest Gift

My family celebrated the festivity of exchanging gifts a couple days earlier than the actual day of exchanging gifts, Christmas (bros are with my dad this wknd, so yeah). I learned a lot from the actual giving of gifts. When all was said and done, the gifts were given, received and opened, I stood back and gazed at the joy on the face of each member of my family as they enjoyed all the material possessions that were now theirs. These things, in a matter of days/weeks/months, will only add to the collection of "stuff" we've got on the shelves, brought so much joy at one point in our lives but could not sustain that joy because like all material possessions- lasts only for so long. So, as I gazed on my own gift (CANON PowerShot SX120IS) I started thanking Jesus for the greatest gift of all, Himself. The gift that brings true joy, the gift that was brought down from heaven to earth, wrapped (not in Christmas paper wrapping) but in a bundle of pure joy, in the form of a human being in a manger. Jesus came to us a man, in very nature God to reconcile this world to Himself. Nothing can compare to this gift because this gift was given to all mankind, it's our choice to just look at the wrapping and never open it or to wildly unravel it and enjoy the fullness of His life given to us!

This Christmas, my prayer for you is that you'd receive the greatest gift of all, Jesus Christ!

Merry Christmas! Happy Birthday, Jesus!

-Live Productively

Proclaim FREEDOM

I always knew that girls need girl friends. Friends to talk things out with, soo-dah-dduh luh, do girl things and friends to talk about boy problems with. Girls just get girls. But I never really came to understand why I always had a hard time having girl/friends or maybe I was just never good at keeping in touch, leaving me feeling very distant. I'm not much of a phone person whereas our society expects girls to have phones glued to their ears bc they talk so much. Yeah, like if I wanted to get to know a person I'd spend hours upon hours just talking about nothing with a guy that I had interest in but when it came to my friends who were girls, it was never that same concept. Now I'm coming to think, maybe because I don't feel like I'm part of the societies norms of what is expected of a female that I feel a bit awkward and out of place? Evaluating myself, I can see that I am much more on the introverted side. If I got problems, I'll deal with them myself, I don't really like talking about it or thinking things through by talking about it with my friends. I'll internalize a lot of my feelings and pray it through but I never had the urges to call up people when I was steaming from frustration or drowning myself in my sorrows. But don't get me wrong, I've had my moments. Possibly, aside from all of that, maybe it was something that went wrong in my childhood? Maybe I have to dig back into my inner child and see where I got hurt, that I can't keep in touch or let my friends into the deeper areas of my life?.... or share life for that matter. But meeting up face-to-face with friends is another story. I can sit with a friend and talk for hours upon hours, laughing and having girl conversation. I just don't think I'm a phone person is all but maybe it's deeper than just that theory?

Not that many Sundays ago, my pastor mentioned in his sermon of a book called, Two Hours to FREEDOM by Dr. Charles H Kraft. He spoke highly about this book because this Dr writes about how there is deep-level healing, deeper than inner healing. "Deep-level healing is Jesus' healing. We start with Jesus, we continue with Jesus, we end with Jesus." (p15) It goes back to pre-birth to childhood to the now- bringing Jesus into the picture of when the painful instances occurred. With the consent of the patient willing to work with him, he'll pray and ask the Holy Spirit to guide them into the deeper areas of our well, picturing Jesus in the moment of the painful instance, laying upon Jesus the things that hold us back: guilt, shame, anger, fear, worry, anxiety and panic. And giving our revenge upon that person up to Jesus, hence, forgiving. I've read about half the book now and we haven't hit the deep-level healing techniques but I'm def guna be all up on that, for sure! I've got so many demons within the dark places in me that are hiding like cockaroaches in a dark room. Just because I am a Christian and I'm saved, doesn't mean I'm free. Jesus has come to set the captives free (see Luke 4:18, Isaiah 61:1). He gives us the option of being free from the deeper areas of pain that reside deep in our spirit, mind, body, and will. It's ours for the choosing, choose wisely. Surely, he'll give abundantly =) What a Wonderful Savior!

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners

to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,

and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of

righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

Isaiah 61: 1-3

Here's the reference to the book I'm talking about:

-Live Productively

Leading by Example

Committing to serve in the junior high ministry again, after a "prodigal child" hiatus, I knew that the Lord had His work stored up for me. It was just my choice to accept or look past what He had in store. After much pleading, discussing, clarifying through prayer, fasting, the word, I decided to commit of myself wholly to the Lord for His work to be used in and through me. This happened back in July of this year, mind you. So a little background of my ministry days: after I graduated high school in the year of 2003 (sounds a bit ancient now) I had a very legalistic viewpoint of Christianity, the kind that made me rationalize my works/deeds to symbolize my faith. That if I do all the right christian acts, say all the right christian words and preach the right christian terms then I'm a good Christian. This religiousness took over me eventually leading to BURN out because it wasn't from the purity of the overflow of my heart. It was all by my own strength, not walking by faith but merely by sight (2nd Cor 5:7). A lot of us fall into this trap, that everything we do is manageable by our own doing because we know we're capable of it but my prayer for you is to go beyond what you're capable of to the things that go beyond your comfort zones. To reach out and minister to the poor, the needy and the abandoned. To love when you don't feel like loving, to give when you selfishly want to hoard for yourself, to go beyond yourself and look in the eyes of the one who is hurting, agonizing, in need of a desperate encounter with Love Himself, Jesus Christ. When you look at the life of Jesus, he was always overflowing out of the love being filled into His heart through his Oneness with God the Father. Silence/Solitude with God was definitely evidenced through His times when he would retreat away to pray and how he always had his mind fixed on things above (Col 3:1) not on earthly things, bringing about an authority over demonic strongholds, casting out demonic spirits and claiming His authority by the One who is greater than he that is in this world (1Jn 4:4). So, coming into ministry this time around has been a whole new journey in and of itself, and I'm loving every minute of it! The Lord really is expanding the capacity of my heart through His unconditional love being bestowed graciously upon me, allowing me to Love beyond measure for my girls- all 13 of them. It's been a greater blessing on me to be able to give so wholly and freely from what the Lord has first given me. To overflow in that Love is so beautiful. Coming in I was so adamant about being comfortable teaching the younger girls because they're more moldable. But when I got put with the older girls in the ministry I was at first dis-heartened because I knew I wasn't able to do it on my own. But this challenged me in greater measure to fully surrender my will and my ways for His will and His ways, it showed me that I couldn't do it on my own. As I fully surrender to God, He leads the way! How Wonderful He is! And the more I get to know Him, the more I want His love in even greater lengths, widths, heights, depths, for you and for me! This truly is the prayer of my heart for us:

Your love is like fire, that burns for all to see.

My [our] only desire, to worship at Your feet.
So let this fire consume my [our] life [lives]!

RT @RickWarren:

If you are not leading by example,

you simply aren't leading.

-Live Productively

Last month of the year

Looking at the fruitfulness of my blog this last month of 2010, it's about worship/praise/adoration and to stand in awe of His presence wherever I go. In my heart, in my soul, in my life. This past weekend I was able to attend the PIHOP and get prayed over through their prophetic ministry. It was amazing! At first I was real skeptical and didn't know WHAT to expect going in but I knew that the Lord was going to speak through it. Had a good amount of time to ready my heart through worship as the Lord spoke to my heart. Going in the things that were spoken over me were words of confirmation, confirming the things that the Lord was showing me through prayer and worship. It was great! Couple things that stood out were: 1) During worship and prayer I saw myself walking in the daylight with the sun radiantly shining down on me. As I walked, the clouds would come with rain pouring down over me but the sun was over it all, it was just a cloud above me. I knew that this had to do with my life when things are good but when I could get a bit gloomy at times. A sister spoke things over me that resembled this image I saw. She said that God is a light upon me and spoke Psalm 139 over me. It was awesome! 2) Another image given to me was of God being this hugemongous like really HUGE figure. I saw an eagles eye view of myself building a wall around the Lord. Looking down at myself I couldn't believe I thought I was building this huge wall around such a mighty God. During the listening prayer portion (trippy, remember my academic counselor gave me this advice), a brother spoke about how he sees a wall being crumbled down. But it's taking some time, brick by brick eventually leading to the whole wall crumbling down. I'm still processing and praying through what this represents exactly and digging through His word for more clarity. It's been an exciting time of waiting though, I must say.

With this new year slowly approaching us, there are a couple things that my heart is being moved to embark on but I'm just waiting for direction and a sign to move. So, look out for that as I continue to grow more in love with our Savior and Lord, wholeheartedly with everything that I have within me. I desire to surrender it all before a perfect God. Life is so exciting, living for His Kingdom! (Matthew 6:33)

"The most dangerous trap is just living

and forgetting that God exists"

-AW Tozer

-Live Productively

Love Like Fire

This past Sundays worship was amazing.. this was the last song we sang during our worship service. I couldn't help but to stand in awe of His majesty, soaking in every morsel of His presence- arms raised, heart lifted higher than ever, tears flowing down my face. Oh, it was wonderful! I think my love for Him is depicted perfectly through this song. I am forever changed, eternally grateful. DOUBLE PORTION, LORD! MORE OF YOU!

Your love is like fire
that burns for all to see.
My only desire
to worship at Your feet.
So let this fire
consume my life.
Let Your love take me deeper
pull me closer to where You are,
'cause all I want is more of You.

and I'll surrender to Your love
forever humbled by the
message of the cross.
I stand abandoned in
Your presence and Your grace,
and I'll never be the same Oh God.

-Live Productively

'cause all I want is more of You.

Above All Else

Jesus my passion in life is to know You
May all other goals bow down to
This journey of loving You more

Jesus You've showered Your goodness on me
Given Your gifts so freely
But there's one thing I'm longing for

Hear my heart's cry
And my prayer for this life

Above all else
Above all else
Above all else
Give me Yourself

-Live Productively

I thought this quite humorous

After a rather lifeless Sunday morning service, the pastor noticed a young boy staring intensely at a large plaque mounted in the church's foyer. It was covered with names and flanked by American flags.

Recognizing the opportunity to connect, the pastor approached, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning young man." "Good morning," the boy replied, still looking intently at the plaque, he then asked, "Pastor, what's this?"

"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service," Then, with a note of gravity in his voice, the boy asked, "Which service did they die in - the 9:30 or the 11:00 o'clock?"

Take time, and choose your words well.

-Live Productively

I will be still and know You are God

"Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.

Worship the Lord with gladness;

come before him with joyful songs.

Know that the Lord is God.

It is he who made us, and we are his;

we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving

and his courts with praise;

give thanks to him and praise his name.

For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;

his faithfulness continues through all generations."

Psalm 100

-Live Productively