Love is a commitment and so is my job

Today marks the official 3rd year since the first day I walked into this office as a naive, 22 year old soul- lost and making my way through life on "survival mode". I went through some pretty huge waves of my life while working here. While working here I've stayed during the whole duration of my partying days, a little after I went through hell & back, and went through 2 relationship in the span of three years! holy comoly! Being in this office is like a safehaven for me. I know I'm safe mentally and even spiritually, possibly even physically?! During my 3 years here I've grown SO much in my capacity to learn, to have compassion, to understand more in depth the hardships of physical illnesses. I've also come to see unconditional love in such a tangible way. Grandma's & Grandpa's, spouses and loved ones of those who are ill showing patience and love. Everyday I see those who are ill come into our office- hopeless, very sick and most of the times very weak. They come through me, I prepare their chart and then they see my Dr who they come to trust and have an expectancy of healing for their sickness. Since Neurology is a specialty in the field of medicine, I see my Doctor in a highly respected way. We have patients from all spectrum of illnesses such as: depression, schizophrenia, epilepsy, mental retardation to dementia, insomnia, Parkinson's disease, Alzheimer's to many patients who come in b/c of headaches and migraines. What I find the most fascinating is the solidified Faith of my Doctor- in our Lord Jesus Christ. He's an elder in his church and part of the elder's chamber choir in his spare time. He doesn't impose religion on his patients but from what I see many times are patients who are in desperate need of a spark of hope. There is only so much that medicine can go and the rest of the way is only the Lord's miracles that happen. These patients who go into his office hopeless come out feeling rejuvenated and even somewhat healed just by a consultation! Some come out of the office w/a rekindling of their Faith. Since many of our patients are of the elderly, they come in on the monthly so there are those who I have been seeing for the span of 3 whole years.

Do I see improvement in their status? YES & NO.. There are many patients who I do see improve w/the medication they're prescribed to take for their diagnosis and there are those few special cases where my Dr would refer them to see another specialist for a certain type of surgery and speaking specifically of this one case a man came back after his surgery a whole new person! He went from a frail old man, disabled and hardly able to walk and talk on his own to fully being able to speak, converse and walk all on his own w/out the help of his wife. This healing and recovery for this man was His testimony but there are also those who come in from time to time and progressively get worst. They always seem to look high or messed up on meds. They become addicted to the medication that we have to cut them from being seen again. These instances actually happened a number of times during my duration of 3 years thus far.

With these experiences that a degree cannot earn me, I'd say that it's surely preparing the way for what is to come in my near future of nursing and quite honestly I'll admit, it's very easy to become numbed to seeing so many ill (literally ill not ill in the ebonics term) patients. So many times I'll hear compliments about how Nice I am and probably one of the nicest front desk ladies they've met in this whole entire building. At first I never understood until I started to catch myself acting out in the way that all the other nurses probably act- cold, annoyed, straight forward, un-compassionate, and numb. Many times friends would share w/me their own personal testimonies of their own experience in hospitals where the nurse was the one who helped them when they were scared, vulnerable, helpless and in a time of need. The nurse was compassionate, kind and able to assure them that everything was going to be okay which made their own hospital stay survivable. I hope that one day someone will be able to say the same thing for me when it comes to their own stay in the hospital.

In the span of 3 years being in this office I've learned so much about Neurology, about Life and a whole lot about myself. I've never committed and devoted so much work and myself to one area of my life as I have with my job.. I believe that Love is a commitment and so is my job.

-Live Productively

My thoughts for His thoughts

In the secret, in the quiet place

In the stillness You are there.

In the secret, in the quiet hour I wait,

Only for You,'cause I want to know You more;

I am reaching for the highest goal,

then I might receive the prize.

Pressing onward, pushing every hindrance aside,

Out of my way, 'cause I want to know you more

I want to know You,

I want to hear Your voice

I want to know You more.

I want to touch You,

I want to see Your face

I want to know You more.

Search me and know my thoughts. Reveal to me the things that are hindering me from seeing you so that I may lay it down before you to become pure and blameless in your sight. Look into my heart and see me as I am- broken, humbled, prideful, scared, tainted, dirty, unclean. Face down before you God. I am nothing. Ascend me Lord as I descend. I am wholly Yours.

-Live Productively

How Promising

On this day, God wants you to know...

... that you have to pass through a dark night of the soul. Everyone does, including you. A time comes when what you have always believed is true melts away underneath you. When you cast in doubt even the most obvious, the most simple. When it seems that the dark night is all around, and you are all alone. Take heart, this journey through abyss is the final barrier before your emergence into the heavenly light of a new synthesis of your being.

God is waiting for you on the other side.

-Live Productively

Anagnorisis

...the startling discovery that produces a change from ignorance to knowledge.. usually involves revelation of the true identity of persons previously unknown, as when a father recognizes a stranger as his son, or vice versa.

I just learned a new word and I'm determined to apply it to my life today. So here it goes, every day God is bringing to light things that I never saw or knew before. I'm reaching an anagnorisis of my life where i'm seeing a lot of things for what it is, facing REALITY and i'm being able to let myself off the hook for a lot of my wounds. I'm making a lot of break through's. Today I came to see how I saw myself to be like a sand castle, if a wave came by I'd be knocked down and disappear. But I've shifted my perspective by envisioning myself building who I am onto a brick walled solid castle (not made of sand) that even if the waves and winds came, nothing can knock me down! This is my anagnorisis for the day.

-Live Productively

A toast to Vicky Pei

It all started with two heartless souls wounded to the point of NUMB with a bottle of Jack&Coke. The song Crimewave & DTR. This is what started the journey for Es&V. When our hearts were wounded. When I had no place of belonging. When I was homeless. When I thought that the world had given up on me and my life could not get any worst, our lives intertwined. The day we met was the day that we started the journey to becoming a new US. Looking back I can't believe how far we've come! It's been almost 11 years & counting since the first day we met as two freshman teenagers- introverted, insecure, untainted, pure creatures who diverted into adventure seeking kraken's wandering the streets of LA looking for our prey to devour into our now redeemed souls being beautifully fashioned women that we are entering into and soon to be grey haired, steezy grandmas talking about the days of our youth, possibly over a bottle of Jack&Coke. Who Knows?!

Through the thick & thins, through the heartbreaks, relationships, boy drama- to the club 113 to our MANY late night counseling sessions on the path of helping each other on our way to the cross of Jesus every single day more closer & more real than ever before. I'm so happy and couldn't be ever more thankful that God has placed such a human as yourself in my life to help me find Life and to become more stronger than I have ever been before. No one will ever be able to go into my mind and my soul like you being able to see thru my eyes AND understand me 110%, as you do.

May this birthday of your 25th year of living be the start of a new journey that is to come. CHEERS my friend to many more years together as NUMBed hearts being refined by the Hand of God at work in our hearts & lives. FRIENDS FOREVER!

CRIMEWAVE!

-Live Productively

It's all about perspective and the way you look at life.

How do you see it?

-Live Productively

A time for everything

"There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven."

-Ecclesiastes 3:1

-Live Productively