Love is a commitment and so is my job

Today marks the official 3rd year since the first day I walked into this office as a naive, 22 year old soul- lost and making my way through life on "survival mode". I went through some pretty huge waves of my life while working here. While working here I've stayed during the whole duration of my partying days, a little after I went through hell & back, and went through 2 relationship in the span of three years! holy comoly! Being in this office is like a safehaven for me. I know I'm safe mentally and even spiritually, possibly even physically?! During my 3 years here I've grown SO much in my capacity to learn, to have compassion, to understand more in depth the hardships of physical illnesses. I've also come to see unconditional love in such a tangible way. Grandma's & Grandpa's, spouses and loved ones of those who are ill showing patience and love. Everyday I see those who are ill come into our office- hopeless, very sick and most of the times very weak. They come through me, I prepare their chart and then they see my Dr who they come to trust and have an expectancy of healing for their sickness. Since Neurology is a specialty in the field of medicine, I see my Doctor in a highly respected way. We have patients from all spectrum of illnesses such as: depression, schizophrenia, epilepsy, mental retardation to dementia, insomnia, Parkinson's disease, Alzheimer's to many patients who come in b/c of headaches and migraines. What I find the most fascinating is the solidified Faith of my Doctor- in our Lord Jesus Christ. He's an elder in his church and part of the elder's chamber choir in his spare time. He doesn't impose religion on his patients but from what I see many times are patients who are in desperate need of a spark of hope. There is only so much that medicine can go and the rest of the way is only the Lord's miracles that happen. These patients who go into his office hopeless come out feeling rejuvenated and even somewhat healed just by a consultation! Some come out of the office w/a rekindling of their Faith. Since many of our patients are of the elderly, they come in on the monthly so there are those who I have been seeing for the span of 3 whole years.

Do I see improvement in their status? YES & NO.. There are many patients who I do see improve w/the medication they're prescribed to take for their diagnosis and there are those few special cases where my Dr would refer them to see another specialist for a certain type of surgery and speaking specifically of this one case a man came back after his surgery a whole new person! He went from a frail old man, disabled and hardly able to walk and talk on his own to fully being able to speak, converse and walk all on his own w/out the help of his wife. This healing and recovery for this man was His testimony but there are also those who come in from time to time and progressively get worst. They always seem to look high or messed up on meds. They become addicted to the medication that we have to cut them from being seen again. These instances actually happened a number of times during my duration of 3 years thus far.

With these experiences that a degree cannot earn me, I'd say that it's surely preparing the way for what is to come in my near future of nursing and quite honestly I'll admit, it's very easy to become numbed to seeing so many ill (literally ill not ill in the ebonics term) patients. So many times I'll hear compliments about how Nice I am and probably one of the nicest front desk ladies they've met in this whole entire building. At first I never understood until I started to catch myself acting out in the way that all the other nurses probably act- cold, annoyed, straight forward, un-compassionate, and numb. Many times friends would share w/me their own personal testimonies of their own experience in hospitals where the nurse was the one who helped them when they were scared, vulnerable, helpless and in a time of need. The nurse was compassionate, kind and able to assure them that everything was going to be okay which made their own hospital stay survivable. I hope that one day someone will be able to say the same thing for me when it comes to their own stay in the hospital.

In the span of 3 years being in this office I've learned so much about Neurology, about Life and a whole lot about myself. I've never committed and devoted so much work and myself to one area of my life as I have with my job.. I believe that Love is a commitment and so is my job.

-Live Productively