The hardest thing in my life was always the easiest thing to do this whole time! I always thought that the hardest thing was to stay in relationships with people & God. But in actuality the hardest thing is actually leaving! I quarrel, I whine, I nag and I fight- I fight my greatest fear. People leaving ME has been what I've been unconsciously doing my whole life- leaving people! I'm the one that tends to leave God thinking that He was never there for me- when all this time, it was me acting out my greatest fear! The hardest thing was always the easiest thing for me to do- to just STAY! to "Be still & know that He is God" (Psalm46:10) is all that's asked of Me
I'm being so broken down, quieted and completely broken down, I'm literally face down before God. HUMBLED. This is where I should be all the days of my life. Looking up to God and not being God. But our fallen nature is just that, thinking that we're God. Adam & Eve ate the apple thinking that they will know all things because they felt that God had something to hide from them but God clearly stated that if they eat they will "surely die" (Gen2:17) It was the serpent that came and gave them that "knowledge" to do so. God created adam and eve to have relationship with Him in the Garden allowing them to eat and do whatever they wanted EXCEPT eat from the tree of knowledge because God had to maintain his God-like character, to be God-all knowing! But even in our fallen nature God had a plan & that was to send Jesus as our redeemer for Him to be God of us!
God gave animal skin to clothe Adam & Eve from their nakedness because they became ashamed after they ate from the tree. They weren't ashamed anymore after they were clothed. This foretold Jesus coming as our animal skin because he covers us from our shame- our sin through His death on the cross & the blood that he shed for us to become covered and unashamed before God. To be given this kind of sacrifice for me, NOT BECAUSE I DESERVE IT but because of God's GRACE-makes me completely embarrased and completely ashamed that I am foolish enough to come before God thinking that I know more than Him. I have been overindulging myself with too many apples from the tree of knowledge causing me to "surely die".. I'm finding myself where I belong as the creation and NOT the creator
"Nothing is exciting if you know what the outcome is going to be. You keep wanting to know how things will play out, keep asking to see the future. God doesn't give anyone the power to know the future, because life becomes maddeningly boring when you know everything upfront. So, instead of struggling, enjoy the uncertainty - to be alive means to not know."
God, please continue to break me down. Continue to Humble me. I am nothing but you alone are God of my life.
-Live Productively
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