Growing up

This weekend I had a great epiphany about my life. The current situations I catch myself in and the way my actions have been affecting my friends and those around me. I've come to step back and re-analyze how my actions and words have been replicating that of my own father. Growing up being raised by my dad allowed me to see the effects of one selfish act or word. That one act and word can leave an impressionable scar in the hearts of those he loves. And now I'm seeing myself placed in the same perspective and realize that I, too, don't even realize that my actions have consequences and that I'm more mistaken for than I'd like to be. What stirs up in my head is not exactly expressed in the way I'd like it to be when I actually do show what I'm thinking or how i am

Feeling. I'm also realizing that I need to start shaping up now for the better and to start figuring myself out. I've acquired a good amount of self actualization material to understand my own personality and needs, wants and desires and future plans. Now, the work of figuring things out has come and I'm embarking on a new journey of self discovery. It's exciting at the same time as kind of annoying. I've become so comfortable where I'm at but I know deep within that this place of stagnancy only prohibits me from moving forward and growing as the woman I'm blooming to be for my future husband, kids and self. I know I'll never have everything figured out all the time and I have to learn how to stop putting that much pressure and guilt on myself for not having everything figured out by now but to learn that everyone has a different timeline and that us as humans are all on the same plane. We're all people who develop and grow. Some who learn faster than others and some who take their time to learn. But in the end we all arrive at the same destination. Entering into heavens doors and walking in the shadow of Jesus. Mimicking his actions and shadowing his words. What would Jesus do?