a gradual process of growth

is taking place within me

So I am in an odd transition of my life where I'm being stripped of my old self and preparing for my new self that I will be sporting, all in due timing. I've never been in a place in my life where I knew that this was exactly where I was supposed to be-like now. I'm quite uncertain of where I'm headed but I have faith that I'm going in the right direction. I'm facing fears that I wasn't able to face in the past and I'm not afraid. I'm finally making my move with my education for upward social mobility with my career- for myself but I am not impatient or hurried as I normally would feel. I'm certainly not 'normal' and it's okay. At times I feel isolated-like i'm living in my own bubble but i don't feel lonely, don't get me wrong because I am loved but this isolation period is more so alone time. I like it. And today I embrace all my uncertainties, confusions and this alone time because ultimately this time is where my strength will arise.

This coming 2010, I will be turning a year where I always looked forward to reaching because as a child I knew that at this age I would reach womanhood. It's an age where I no longer live a confused, rebellious life but bloom into a woman who has lived life and wisdom overflows, my logical thinking capacity outweighs my emotions and I'm able to find joy in the midst of chaotic times. I'm a lot more patient and learning that in due time circumstances shall pass and it's all a part of growing up. At this age I'm not any where near birthing a child in my womb but just as a woman in her early pregnancy can feel her child being seasoned within her belly, I too can feel/sense that God is preparing something within me. This reminds me of when my brother, Daniel Dabin, was in his mother's womb. Everyday I would look at her belly and anticipate the day that I would see this being in her womb in full human form. Meeting Dabin for the first time brought an unexplainable joy that radiated from within and I've come across this same kind of anticipation that's filled with the same excitement at what is to come.

"Spiritual growth consists most in the growth of the root,

which is out of sight"

Matthew Henry

-Live Productively